Great humor from friend and colleague Ari Michelsen, who is a long way from doing this task.
LIVING WILL FORM
I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not
wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of
pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it,
or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up
the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to
ask for at least one of the following:
______a Beer
______a Margarita
______a Bourbon and Water
______a Bloody Mary
______a Gin and Tonic / Vodka Tonic
______a Glass of Chardonnay
______a Steak
______Lobster or crab legs
______The remote control
______ a bowl of ice cream
______The sports page
______Sex
______or Chocolate.
It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my
appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug,
reel in the tubes, and call it a day.
At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral
Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my
friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we
have had.
Signature: ________________________
Date: _____________________
NOTE:
I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a
Pub.
The patients are happier, and they have a lot more
visitors.
Some of them don't even need embalming when their time
comes.
If anyone knows the name of this happy place, PLEASE pass it on
to me!
"Bedre med en fugl i hånden enn ti på taket." - Norwegian proverb (Translation: "Better to have one bird in hand than ten on the roof.")
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