Campanastan

Special Black Friday Quotes Edition

“You know if the U.S. Government wanted to boost the economy there's a simple solution make Black Friday the refund date for your state and federal taxes” - Stanley Victor Paskavich 

"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking." - Elayne Boosler

"Shopping is better than sex. If you're not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like." - Adrienne Gusoff

"Oh for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money." - Unknown

"One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present." -Unknown 

"Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have." - Unknown

"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money." - Unknown

 “Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacle s, discouragement s, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.” –Thomas Carlyle

“Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.” –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.” – Napoleon Hill

“A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.” –Elbert Hubbard

“Perhaps there is only one cardinal sin: impatience. Because of impatience we were driven out of Paradise, because of impatience we cannot return.” –W.H. Auden 

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” –Calvin Coolidge

 “Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” –Napoleon Hill

The Real Meaning of Thanksgiving

It's the day before Black Friday (which is illegal in Campanastan)! 

Seriously - have a great Thanksgiving!

I have so much for which to be thankful - Mary Frances most of all!

"Black Friday: because only in America people trample one another for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have." - Unknown 

Why Should You Support Public Schools When You Don't Have Children?

Good one! Thanks to Jeffrey Levin.

Jerry Coyne: Dissing Deepak Chopra

Jerry Coyne, a fellow College of William & Mary alum (Class of 1971) and current professor at the University of Chicago, is a renowned evolutionary biologist who blogs and Tweets on that and related topics.

Coyne recently posted an open letter to Deepak Chopra. Seems that Chopra recently initiated a brief Twitter tirade against Coyne. That's interesting, because
although Coyne has over 16,000 followers, he follows no one on Twitter; he learned of Chopra's effort from someone else.  

What I enjoyed most about Coyne's post was this poem, set to the music of I Am Woman:  

I am Deepak; hear me roar
As you patronize my store,
And buy up all the nostrums that I sell.
You may say that I’m a crank,
But just tell that to my bank,
For I’m Deepak, and you can go to hell.

Oh yes, I am rich,
Though it’s richness born of woo;
And for those whose life’s a bitch,
I will bilk them through and though.
If I had to, I could sell anything;
I’m a crank,
But I’m a scientist—
I am DEEPAK!

Enjoy!

"Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and ends up a racket." - Eric Hoffer

Infographic: Firearm-Related Fatalities in US Children & Youth

From the Children's Safety Network. Here is the original.

"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'" - Steven Wright

Dancing Your PhD Sure Beats Writing Up the Results!

I suppose it beats actually writing up your results! 

The overall winner is shown below. Visit this site to check out winners in the chemistry, physics, social sciences, and the readers' favorite.

My dissertation was titled, Finite-State Models of Transport Phenomena in Hydrologic Systems. Oh, what I could have done with that!

Thanks to Jeanine McGann.

 

“A project not worth doing is not worth doing well.” - Cliff Dochterman

My Funny Toilet Story for World Toilet Day

I have decided to expose (pun intended) myself and First-Lady-for-Life Mary Frances to ridicule and embarrassment by entering Splashdirect's contest to support World Toilet Day (19 November) by relating my funny/disgusting toilet story.

Hey, it's for a good cause - money will be donated to WaterAid.

Okay, here goes:

It was May 2009 and I was returning from a trip to Armenia. The first leg of my return was a flight from Yerevan to Vienna. As I deplaned in Vienna, I headed for the men's room. Time to avert your eyes, right? No, not yet. After performing the required functions, I washed my hands and returned to the transit lounge. 

As I browsed the food offerings, books, gadgets, etc., I noticed people giving me a variety of looks. Some scowled; some grimaced; some smiled; others covered their mouths as their eyes grew wide. Others averted their eyes completely and crinkled their noses. Some even gave me a wide berth or looked down and moved away. I could not figure out what was wrong. Stained or wet pants? No. Something on my shoes? Check. Hat askew? Nahh...

This must have continued for 15 minutes or so. I soon moved to the waiting room where more looks awaited me. Finally, as I stood by myself - unusual in such a crowded room - I noticed a couple staring at me. The woman was whispering something to the man. When she stopped, he looked at her, then at me, frowned, and walked toward me. Many eyes were fixed on him. I knew he was going to say something and I figured my dilemma was about to be resolved.

But I had no idea it would be this: 'Sir, you have about two feet of toilet paper hanging out from the back of your trousers.'   

Clean or not? Use your imagination.

Both funny and disgusting...

Here is a neat infographic from Splashdirect.

I am part of the #Blog4Sanitation movement set up by Splashdirect to raise awareness of the importance of global sanitation. Learn more about World Toilet Day.

How to Look Like Batman - Just Add a Black Cat

Not sure ol' Felix is real happy. From Damien Greenhalgh.

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Sigmund Freud

Infographic: Do You Live in One of the USA's Smartest Cities?

From this source - click for a larger image.

This is based upon a Lumosity analysis of over 3.3M users. The bottom 50 graphic is really provocative.

It's unclear to me how the five exercises involved can be related to 'smartness'. Problem  solving, perhaps, but I know some very smart people who are inept when it comes to that task.

Upshot: If you're from Lumberton, NC - don't sweat it.

Thanks to Trista Peterson for sending this my way. 

“Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.” ― Walter Cronkite

Simple Answers to Questions About New Technology

Got this from Bill Easterly. It's from XKCD.

Not everyone likes it. But I do.

“It’s incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense.” - Friedrich Hebbel 

Maps & More: In Which of the Eleven American Nations Do You Live?

Fascinating map and article by Colin Woodard in the Tufts University alumni magazine.

Woodard is the author of American Nations: A History of the Eleven Rival Regional Cultures of North America.

Here is the map:

Reid Wilson offers a quick synopsis in his Washington Post blog post:

Yankeedom: Founded by Puritans, residents in Northeastern states and the industrial Midwest tend to be more comfortable with government regulation. They value education and the common good more than other regions.

New Netherland: The Netherlands was the most sophisticated society in the Western world when New York was founded, Woodard writes, so it’s no wonder that the region has been a hub of global commerce. It’s also the region most accepting of historically persecuted populations.

The Midlands: Stretching from Quaker territory west through Iowa and into more populated areas of the Midwest, the Midlands are “pluralistic and organized around the middle class.” Government intrusion is unwelcome, and ethnic and ideological purity isn’t a priority.

Tidewater: The coastal regions in the English colonies of Virginia, North Carolina, Maryland and Delaware tend to respect authority and value tradition. Once the most powerful American nation, it began to decline during Westward expansion.

Greater Appalachia: Extending from West Virginia through the Great Smoky Mountains and into Northwest Texas, the descendants of Irish, English and Scottish settlers value individual liberty. Residents are “intensely suspicious of lowland aristocrats and Yankee social engineers.”

Deep South: Dixie still traces its roots to the caste system established by masters who tried to duplicate West Indies-style slave society, Woodard writes. The Old South values states’ rights and local control and fights the expansion of federal powers.

El Norte: Southwest Texas and the border region is the oldest, and most linguistically different, nation in the Americas. Hard work and self-sufficiency are prized values.

The Left Coast: A hybrid, Woodard says, of Appalachian independence and Yankee utopianism loosely defined by the Pacific Ocean on one side and coastal mountain ranges like the Cascades and the Sierra Nevadas on the other. The independence and innovation required of early explorers continues to manifest in places like Silicon Valley and the tech companies around Seattle.

The Far West: The Great Plains and the Mountain West were built by industry, made necessary by harsh, sometimes inhospitable climates. Far Westerners are intensely libertarian and deeply distrustful of big institutions, whether they are railroads and monopolies or the federal government.

New France: Former French colonies in and around New Orleans and Quebec tend toward consensus and egalitarian, “among the most liberal on the continent, with unusually tolerant attitudes toward gays and people of all races and a ready acceptance of government involvement in the economy,” Woodard writes.

First Nation: The few First Nation peoples left — Native Americans who never gave up their land to white settlers — are mainly in the harshly Arctic north of Canada and Alaska. They have sovereignty over their lands, but their population is only around 300,000.

Interesting read!

"With such sharp regional differences, the idea that the United States would ever reach consensus on any issue having to do with violence seems far-fetched. The cultural gulf between Appalachia and Yankeedom, Deep South and New Netherland is simply too large. But it’s conceivable that some new alliance could form to tip the balance." - Colin Woodard

The NewYorker: Try Ctrl-Alt-Delete

This week's New Yorker has another wonderful cover by Barry Blitt: 'Reboot'.

 “We’re going to do a challenge. I’m going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try to sign up for Obamacare — and we’ll see which happens first.” — Jon Stewart to Secretary Kathleen Sebelius on The Daily Show, Oct. 7

When Homicide by Pets is Justifiable

No court in the land would convict these pets if they killed their owners. 

Notice there are fewer cats than dogs.

 

"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it." - Rodney Dangerfield
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/rodneydang167298.html#jRrb9eH9mXgP4slQ.99

Still More Geography! The Most Accurate Map Of The USA Ever?

Got this from Kate Zeigler's FB page. The map is purportedly by an Australian and is pretty funny.Here is the original site.

Click to enlarge.

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

Guaranteed to Increase Enthusiasm: Big Data = Teenage Sex

Thanks to Iwona Bialynicka-B

"Listening to the data is important… but so is experience and intuition. After all, what is intuition at its best but large amounts of data of all kinds filtered through a human brain rather than a math model?”–Steve Lohr