Campanastan

The Correct Bus to Send Over the Fiscal Cliff

From a good friend....A sure way to solve the financial crisis.

Hits too close to home as I stand on the brink of the Medicare precipice!

To help save the economy, the government will announce
next month that Immigration & Customs Enforcement

will start deporting
seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security
and Medicare costs.
Older people are easier to catch and will not remember
how to get back home. 

 

I started to cry when I thought of you.
Then it dawned on me ... oh, shoot ...
I'll see you on the bus!

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick." - George Burns

WTF? Pat Robertson, Earth Historian

 

Next up: evolutionary biology!

 "The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

@TheOnion: Filthy Mitt Romney Delivers Campaign Speech To Confused Ohio Safeway Shoppers

Breaking news from The Onion!

CANTON, OH—According to eyewitnesses at the scene, an unkempt and thoroughly disheveled Mitt Romney gave an impassioned campaign speech Monday to a group of bewildered shoppers inside a local Safeway.

Sources confirmed the filth-covered former presidential candidate walked into the store unannounced early yesterday evening, went to the store’s cereal aisle, and started to play Kid Rock’s “Born Free” on a portable boom box, enthusiastically waving and pointing to no one in particular.

Read more!

 Sad!

 "As president, I will create 12 million new jobs." - Mitt Romney, during the second presidential debate

"Government does not create jobs. Government does not create jobs." - Mitt Romney, 45 minutes later (Oct. 16, 2012) 

Texas Secession Letter from President Obama

Got this from Joe Dellapenna's Facebook page, written by Dianne Self Wing.

If only it were true....

“To secede from the Union and set up another government would cause war. If you go to war with the United States, you will never conquer her, as she has the money and the men. If she does not whip you by guns, powder, and steel, she will starve you too.” - Sam Houston

Happy Thanksgiving and Black Friday Blessings!

That's the new Thanksgiving greeting in the USA.

Today's newspapers are the heaviest of the year:

The Gazette-Times:

Maybe I can pick me up a Ruger at Cabela's.

More:

Damn! No gun sales at The Oregonian!

Galahad is checking out BB&B:

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving (to my USA friends) and to everybody else - a great Thursday!

"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving." - W. T. Purkiser

U Can't Touch This: Hammer & PSY 'Gangnam Style' at the AMA

Please don't hurt 'em, Hammer! The guy can still move for a 50-year-old!

Some great audience shots. Great video!

 

"This is it for a winner, Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner, Move slide your rump, Just for a minute let's all do the bump, Bump, bump, bump yeah." - MC Hammer, U Can't Touch This

Terrible Twinkie Tales!

From Duncan Badine via Joe Dellapenna.

A new twist on the 'twinkie defense'. 

"We ran out of space on the rock." - original caption by Leigh Rubin

POTUS Mimics McKayla Maroney

Olympic gold medal gymnast McKayla Maroney and President Obama pose doing her infamous 'McKayla Maroney is not impressed' look.

And here is what she thinks of all this.

"It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help." - Judith Martin

Doonesbury Explores the Romney Approach to Higher Education

Going the for-profit route?

At least they don't waste money on big-time athletics. 

From Doonesbury.

Click to enlarge.

"Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility." - Ambrose Bierce

In Jacksonville on the 11th Hour of the 11th Day of the 11th Month

I saw this monument while walking along the St. Johns River in Jacksonville, FL, this morning. Thought it was appropriate for Veterans Day.

Thanks!

"To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country's service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations." - Woodrow Wilson

Kevin Nealon's Racist Ski Humor and CDs: A Conflation

Kevin Nealon (is he still around?) had some 'fun' recently combining skiing, African-Americans, and cocaine.

Here is the video link.

His bit is funny because it shows how people can be using the same words but talking about two different things, depending upon their perspectives.

I recall this phenomenon in spades. About 30 years ago I had a conversation with an older colleague about something new called 'CDs'. We spoke to each other for five minutes before we realized that I was talking about 'compact discs' and he about 'certificates of deposit'.

 

"Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled." - Kevin Nealon 

Over-The-Top Romney - Sandy Ad

This one comes from the 'good folks' at ClimateSilence 

 

C'mon, man - we don't need this crap.

Make sure you vote today.

From David Roberts at Grist.

"The ads they run are not generic party ads or issue ads—they are 'Bill-Clinton-is-the-best-thing-since-twist-off-caps' ads and 'Bob-Dole-is-the-cause-of-halitosis-and-genital-warts' ads... (I personally doubt the genital wart claim, but...) — Jim Hightower, If God Had Meant Us To Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates

Last-Minute Voter's Guide: A Handy Comparison Between Obama and Romney

Another great one from Lockwood Dewitt.

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." —Groucho Marx 

On Religious Freedom

Thanks to Lockwood Dewitt.

Makes perfect sense.

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die, any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." - George Bernard Shaw

Mitt Romney Style: What a Change in Climate!

Poor Mitt! Even the climate people are picking on him! No rest for the weary! 

From Lisa Hymas' post at Grist:

Check out this bizarre video of Mitt Romney at a campaign rally talking about superstorm Sandy and its aftermath. Climate activist Ted Glick (a sometime Grist contributor) interrupts by yelling, “What about climate? What about climate? That’s what caused this monster storm,” and holding up a sign that says, “End climate silence.” See what happens next:

Here is the video link.

Please consider a donation to the Red Cross or your favorite charity to help Sandy's victims.

 

"President Obama promised to begin to slow the rise of the oceans and heal the planet. My promise is to help you and your family." - Mitt Romney