Campanastan

Campanastan's PFL Visits The Conch Republic

Beautiful day here in Key West at the AWRA
Florida Section's annual meeting. The PFL feels like he's a million miles from Campanastan!

Welcome to The Conch Republic!

Reminds the PFL of a mini-New Orleans with a beach.

Ate at the site (see right) of Jimmy Buffett's original restaurant last night (so I was told) and watched the sunset. Once upon a time Jimmy was Campanastan's philosopher-in- residence.

Check that - this place is more like a billion miles from Campanastan!

Debt crisis? What debt crisis?

"Is it ignorance or is it apathy? I don't know and I don't care." -- Jimmy Buffett

"We seceded where others failed." -- Motto, The Conch Republic

Can Tan Man Plan?

Below is the last paragraph from Brian Goldsmith's article in The Atlantic. 

The entire article is worth reading, but it's the last paragraph that brought it all home for me.

The truth is that because Speaker Boehner cannot move on taxes (either because his caucus won't let him, or he believes in cutting taxes to pre-New Deal levels), there is no deal. Because Speaker Boehner linked the debt ceiling to a deal, America is on the brink of a default that would impose a stealth tax increase -- in the form of higher interest rates -- on every American. And the country's top priorities (initiatives to promote more jobs and faster growth) have been ignored by a Congress obsessed with shrinking government. Does this mean politicians can't govern? Or that everybody puts politics first? No, it does not. President Obama and Sen. Coburn could make a deal today. This is not a Washington problem; it is a House Republican problem. And commentators who are obsessed with balance should remember good journalism is not "Republicans say the sky is blue, Democrats say the sky is red, experts disagree." It is reporting -- without fear or favor -- what is actually happening. It means substituting moral clarity for moral equivalence.

"The American people will not tolerate a clean increase in the debt limit." - Rep. John Boehner (R-OH), 23 July 2011 

God Urges Rick Perry Not To Run For President

From The Onion, via Ari Michelsen.

AUSTIN, TX—Describing Texas Gov. Rick Perry as grossly unqualified for the position,
God, the Creator and Ruler of the Universe, urged Perry not to run for president of the United States Wednesday. “I prayed last night and asked the Lord to support my candidacy, and He said no,” Perry told reporters outside the Texas Capitol, explaining that God had cited the governor’s rejection of federal stimulus funds to expand state jobless benefits, his irresponsible speculation about Texas seceding from the union, and his overall lack of concrete solutions to the nation’s problems as reasons why He could not endorse a Perry presidential bid. “I believe God made some valid points about my lack of credentials, and He’s absolutely right. My extreme beliefs when it comes to social issues and states’ rights are not only disturbingly narrow-minded, but would also make me a horrible president.” When reached for comment, God said He would not be present at Perry’s much-talked-about Christian day of prayer on Aug. 6, calling the governor’s use of his public office to endorse a religion both “irresponsible” and a violation of the Constitution.

 

Amen!

And never...NEVER...elect anyone to public office who goes by 'Rick'!

 "From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented." —Texas Gov. Rick Perry, referring to the Gulf oil spill, 3 May 2010 

Ode to Texas

Faux-Texan Ari Michelsen sent this verse my way.

Ode To Texas

The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Texas
A place both wretched and rough
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall
He dried up the lakes in the valleys
Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren country
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
The climate suited them well.

Now the home was much to his liking
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake
With its forked poisonous tongue.
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow it's young.

Then he made scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.

'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly," he finally panted,
"I did my job too well,
I'm going back to where I came from,
Texas is hotter than hell!"

"As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office."-- Molly Ivins

"The only things in the middle of the road are a yellow stripe and dead armadillos." - Jim Hightower 

William Easterly's Unpublished Review of Dambisa Moyo's 'Dead Aid'

Economist William Easterly (The White Man's Burden) wrote this review of Dambisa Moyo's controversial book Dead Aid two years ago. The review was commissioned by the London Review of Books which declined to publish it.

He recently posted this on Facebook and his WWW site. It's a powerful piece, like Moyo's book, so much so that I thought it was worth posting here.

Download Moyoreviewforlrbjune2009

Enjoy!

"There are probably more annoying things than being hectored about African development by a wealthy Irish rock star in a cowboy hat, but I can't think of one at the moment." - Paul Theroux, referring to Bono (Paul Hewson), "The Rock Star's Burden", The New York Times, 15 December 2005

How Hot Is It in Oklahoma? It's So Hot That....

...this ice cream truck melted! Thanks to Ari Michelsen.

 
Are there any swamps in Okalhoma? Yes, there is. It's called 'Tulsa'. - Bpbby Heenan

Colbert Report: Fox News Puts Lid Back On Murdoch Hacking Scandal

More good stuff from the Colbert Report. Thanks to the Huffington Post.

   

"Right, those banks' files were hacked, and Murdoch hacked into people's phones, They're both victims of being in the same sentence with the word 'hack.'" -- Stephen Colbert

Just 4 U: 4-Profit University

The online, but far more profitable, version of the concept invented in 1950 by the University of P.O. Box 2000!

Thanks to Tom the Dancing Bug!

"The purpose of education is to teach children to be crap detectors." -- Neil Postman

Sunday Foto Funnies: School Free Drug Zone and More!

 Or is it 'Free Drug School Zone'? Thanks to Really Funny Pictures.

"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man." -- Jack Handy

Today's Object Lesson: Always Read the Fine Print!

Don't be distracted! Be sure to read the fine print at the bottom of the sign.

Thanks to Really Funny Pictures.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?
---Signs, 1971 song performed by the Five Man Electrical Band (written by Les Emmerson) 

Doonesbury Decimates Louisiana's 'Science Education Act'

Garry Trudeau takes on the creationists and the oxymoronic 'Louisiana Science Education Act'. He's tackled this topic before.

Thanks to Open Culture and Maria Popova.

"Natural stupidity always trumps artificial intelligence." -- Unknown

When Good Barbies Go Bad - REALLY Bad!

Below are some of least offensive pictures of 'bad' Barbies. You can see all of them here. Thanks to Dahara.

 

 

 

 

 
 
"I can`t do Los Angeles. I`ve always been the anti-Barbie. I don`t want to be in a place where almost every woman walks around with puffy lips, little noses and breasts large enough to nourish a small country. As a kid I wanted attention, so I started praying for glasses because everyone had ace vision in my family. Then one day my eyes started going bad and never stopped." -- Vera Farmiga

Stewart Dicks Around With Halperin's Apology

By now the world knows that journalist Mark Halperin called President Obama 'kind of a dick' last week. Jon Stewart took that comment and Halperin's apology and ran with it. Did he ever!

 

"I thought he was kind of a dick yesterday." -- Mark Halperin, referring to President Obama

Give Thanks for Independence and the Right to RAPPS

In between the fireworks, auto and furniture sales, and barbecues, take a few minutes today to read  the Declaration of Independence and the remarkable Bill of Rights, the first ten amendments to the Constitution, which came along 11 years later:

Download Const

Download Usdeclar

If you are an American citizen, thank your lucky stars for those 56 guys who signed the Declaration in Philadelphia in 1776 and started this thing rolling.

While you are at it, give extra thanks for the First Amendment, which guarantees five fundamental rights, which you can remember with the mnemonic RAPPS: religion, assembly, press, petition, and speech.

Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, two giants in American history - friends, then opponents, and finally friends again - both died on this day in 1826. As I get older, I think less of Jefferson and more of Adams. Both were great men, but the former 'talked the talk' and didn't always 'walk the walk' (e.g., slavery) whereas the latter tried to do both.

Enjoy the day, and enjoy RAPPS!

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." -- Declaration of Independence

"...a Republic, if you can keep it." -- Benjamin Franklin, at the end of the Constitutional Convention, when asked, "What have you wrought?"

Road Trip - Crank It Up! My Top-Down, Top-Ten

I just finished a road trip with Platita and kept her top down the whole time. One of the reasons I take these trips is to play a lot of music and refresh my memory of all the songs I've collected over the years.

When I first got an auto cassette player in 1990, I binged and taped a bunch of songs. These tapes have lasted far longer than I thought they would and I should probably get them trasnferred to CDs before they die completely.

An aside about auto stereo systems: I could never understand why you needed a 200W stereo system to fill such a small space. Then I got a convertible.

So here are my Top-Down, Top-Ten for this most recent road trip, in no particular order.

1) Urgent by Foreigner (1981). Quintessential 80s song about excess. Reminds me of...never mind. Junior Walker's saxophone solo is arguably the best of the rock era (apologies to Clarence Clemons and Raphael Ravenscroft). Urban legend has it that the group was recording this in NYC and heard Walker was gigging nearby. They asked him to play and he recorded it on the first take.

 2) Feelin' Alright by Joe Cocker (1969). If the original version by Traffic was on 'ludes, then this one was on coke and meth. Cocker really rocks, and his band cooks like few others have. Percussion and piano make it go. And the backing singers (Brenda Holloway et al.)! The song was not a big hit but has evolved into a cult classic.

3) Pushin' Too Hard by The Seeds (1965). From the drug-addled (or close to it) brain of Sky Saxon (born Richard Marsh in SLC) the Seeds were a psychedelic garage-rock band in LA and had some success for a brief time in the 60s. Saxon, who had resurrected his carerr in recent years, died in 2009.

4) Easy Lover by Philip Bailey and Phil Collins (1985). What can I say? There are some great live versions on YouTube although none with Philip Bailey; my favorite is this one from Paris (yes - despite the Spanish at the beginning) with co-writer and bassist Nathan East singing Bailey's part (2007). The band looks like they are having a real blast. The guitar virtuoso Daryl Stuermer solos, 

5) Since I Don't Have You by the Skyliners (1959!). Jimmy Beaumont's vocal is one of the best of the doo-wop era; he's really torn up. Co-writer (with Beaumont) Joe Rock wrote most of the lyrics while sitting in his car between stoplights; his girl had just left him. Now listen to this version (1993) from Guns N' Roses - Puhh-leeze, Axl!

6) I Fought the Law by The Bobby Fuller Four (1965). Fuller was found dead in a car just as this song was climbing into the Top Ten. The LA police ruled it suicide, although friends and family, to this day, claim he was murdered. This song is one of the most covered in rock history; that os no wonder given the subject matter. The Clash released a version in 1979; the song takes on a whole new meaning when they do it.

7) Jive Talkin' by the Bee Gees (1975). This launched their second career. Originally titled Drive Talkin', the chunka-chunka-chunka sound at the beginning is based on the sound a car makes as it drives over the Biscayne Bridge in Miami. I wasn't a big fan of disco or the Bee Gees' new sound, but this song is one of my favorites.

8) One Toke Over The Line by Brewer and Shipley (1970). If this doesn't recall the 60s, then no song does. It was apparently written as a joke and when sung by Gail and Dale on The Lawrence Welk Show, Welk commented, "There you've heard a modern spiritual by Gail and Dale." Duhhh. Tom Shipley lives in Rolla, MO, where he is part of the staff of Missouri University of Science & Technology (formerly the University of Missouri - Rolla). He is manager of learning, video, audio, and other special video productions for the university. Michael Brewer lives near Branson, MO.

9) Walking On Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves (1985). The definitive summer song - upbeat, breezy, and all that. I did not realize that these folks were from the UK; I would have guessed SoCal. A true top-down song. Crank it up! 

10) Yellow River by Christie (1970). Another upbeat, positive song. Originally written for the Tremeloes, who recorded it but declined to release it. On the hit version for Christie, Jeff Christie sings lead but the Tremeloes are actually playing the music. The Blakley brothers were in the bands - Mike in Christie, Alan in the Tremeloes.

That's it. Next road trip, I will undoubtedly have a different suite of songs,

"We don't like their sound; groups with guitars are on the way out." -- A Decca Records executive, after declining to sign the Beatles (1962) 

The Five Best Sentences Ever Written? - Part 2

Yesterday I posted Part 1 of the Five Best Sentences Ever Written.. Someone responded with another quintet:

1) You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2) When one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3) The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4) You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

5) When half the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Thoughts?

"Some people born on third base go through life thinking they hit a triple." -- Barry Switzer