The title of this post is from an actual headline in today's The Oregonian. The Pope was making a plea to protect abused children, street children, and child soldiers, and rescue them from the clutches of evil.
The irony of his message really struck home, so I decided to rewrite the piece, cognizant of the subtext.
Pope Greets Christmas with Appeal for Children
by Pat McGroin
In his traditional Midnight Mass Christmas homily, Pope Benedict XVI departed from the usual entreaty for world peace, an end to hunger, and the institution of a college football playoff system, by issuing an urgent appeal to the faithful for more children,”the male gender, northern European types”.
The Pope continued: “The Church today is in dire straits, and I am not referring to the pale English neo-pop band. It is in desperate need of its very lifeblood, young boys, those who would innocently serve as receptacles of all that is good that gushes forth from the priesthood.” The Pope repeated his desire for “northern European-looking types”, stating that “We have a surfeit of dark, swarthy ones.”
He then alluded to the Church's enlightened birth-control policy, which has resulted in “many little dark ones who wish to serve the Church, but are not in demand as acolytes by the priesthood.”
The Holy Father pleaded with parents to offer their male offspring to the Church, so that they "may be blessed in ways not fully understood by the laity." He added that parents should "rest assured that their boys will indeed be in good hands."
He noted that female children were not desired at this time, for "They have a special place in the Church hierarchy, which is to accept their role as subservient to all mankind."
Now here is a paragraph from the real story:
The Pope did not specifically mention the issue of lawsuits and other complaints brought in the United States and elsewhere by Catholics who allege they were sexually abused by priests when they were youngsters.
You go, Benedict!
"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." -- Abraham Lincoln
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