Campanastan

Some Good News From Rwanda

The Campanastan Ministry of Information just stumbled across some good news from Rwanda. Robert Adamski sent me this item from Nick Kristof's blog, a post by Josh Ruxin, a Columbia University public health expert who has spent the past few years in Rwanda.

What a great way to end the old year and begin the new one.

The photo of the Rwandan children is by Josh.

The Word Is Getting Out

by Josh Ruxin

It was much to the dismay of family and friends that my wife and I moved to Rwanda. Having seen little more than “Hotel Rwanda” to educate them about the country, they believed it to be a hostile and unstable place. We had a different take: it’s safe, clean, friendly and relatively uncorrupted. Our perception is clearly shared by others and, now, the country’s resurgence is being recognized.

Tuesday, the Mo Ibrahim Foundation released the results of its “Ibrahim Index” — a holistic ranking of how African countries are doing across the dimension of governance. Ibrahim, one of Africa’s most successful and philanthropic entrepreneurs, set up the index to inform the Mo Ibrahim Prize — an annual award of $5 million for a former head of state who has demonstrated excellence in leadership. The surprise to all but Rwandan insiders was that Rwanda made the greatest progress of any country during the course of the last five years.

As the always insightful Steve Radelet pointed out in an earlier post, governance and democracy in Africa mean everything. Having worked in nearly a dozen countries in Africa, I decided to place my bets on Rwanda because it was the first place I’d never been asked to pay a bribe. I’m not alone: donors are lining up to invest in Rwanda, reassured that the money will reach the people who need it most.

None of this is to say that Rwanda is utopia: major challenges remain for improvements in the press and in democracy. Nevertheless, at a time when many nations are spiraling downward, it’s heartening to see little Rwanda making progress against all odds.

"When the missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land. They said, 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land." -- Desmond Tutu

I've Just Been Nominated (or Something) to Madison Who's Who!

Almost a year ago I posted an item about being considered for Cambridge Who's Who, an outfit located in the NYC suburban Mecca of Uniondale, NY. But alas, I turned them down and have heard nary a word from them since then. My chance for immortality and another useless registry went down the drain for good.

So my heart leapt with joy when I heard from Madison Who's Who, located in one of New York City's classiest enclaves, Long Island City. But these guys emailed me, addressing the invitation to "Dear Candidate". Made me feel real special, just like the other umpteen thousand who got the same email. They even sent it to an old email address, one I have not used much the past 18 months. At least Cambridge Who's Who  sent a snail-mail invitation addressed specifically to me.

How was this great honor transmitted to me? As the following email; comments in italics are mine.

*********************

Dear Candidate,

You were recently appointed as a biographical candidate [Hmmm. A biographical candidate? Are there other kinds?] to represent your industry in the Madison Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals, and for inclusion into the upcoming 2007-2008 "Honors Edition" [Oh, boy! An additional incentive!] of the registry.

We are pleased to inform you that on December 27th, your candidacy was
approved.  Your confirmation for inclusion will be effective within five
business days, pending our receipt of the enclosed application.

The Office of the Managing Director appoints individuals based on a
candidate's current position, and usually with information obtained from
researched executive and professional listings. [Then why didn't you have my correct email address, or even my name?.]  The director thinks you
may make an interesting biographical subject, as individual achievement is
what Madison Who's Who is all about. [How could you know about my individual achievement?]  Upon final confirmation you will be listed among thousands of accomplished individuals in the Madison Who's Who Registry.  There is no cost to be included. [So how do you guys make money? By selling me a desk copy of the registry?]

We do require additional information to complete the selection process and
kindly ask that you access this form on our website at:

www.mwwpublishing.com/basiclisting

Sincerely,

Matthew Johnson
Managing Director

Madison Who's Who is not associated or affiliated with Marquis Who's Who or any other Who's Who.
30-01 Northern Blvd. Long Island City, NY, 11101

***************

Okay, I went to the online application. All the information they wanted was the type they should have already had: name, address, phone, email, company, title, affiliations, industry, specialization. Nothing about my accomplishments. So my candidacy presumably was approved without knowing any of the above - maybe my name, but that's not for certain since they did not bother to address me by name.

So to select me based upon my individual achievements all I have to do is provide some basic information. That's it? 

Should you get a solicitation from these folks, you might want to poke around on the WWW. I found a complaint from Theresa and another one, too. Theresa mentions costs involved.

Just remember that an anonymous invitation from an organization that apparently sends them out without researching the invitees can't be a very special invitation at all.

Caveat emptor.

"Any organization is much like a septic tank; the really big chunks float to the top." -- Unknown

Welcome to Campanastan! 'Aquablog' is Now 'Campanastan'

I've decided to change the name of my personal blog from 'Aquablog' to 'Campanastan', and that's 'Campana-stan', as in 'Place of Campana'.  Same old witty me, but it was time for a change because people were confusing my "professional" blog WaterWired with my "personal" blog, Aquablog.  Certainly understandable, given the names.

Your comments are welcomed.

The URL will remain the same: aquadoc.typepad.com/aquablog

I will serve as President-for-Life and Supreme High Armed Forces Commander, and Todd Jarvis is Minister of Water.

Welcome to Campanastan! No passports or visas required!

"Midlife crisis is climbing to the top of the ladder only to discover it's been leaning against the wrong wall." -- Joseph Campbell

Happy Birthday, Ann!

Today would have been my younger sister Ann's 56th birthday. She died far too young at age 49 on 11 September 2001.

We miss you, Annie.

Thanks to those of you who have chosen to remember her by contributing to the Ann Campana Judge Foundation, which undertakes and supports water and sanitation projects in developing countries. I greatly appreciate your support.

On this day in 2000, President-elect George W. Bush picked Donald H. Rumsfeld, aka 'Ronnie Dumsfeld', to be Secretary of Defense.

"We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead." -- Donald H. Rumsfeld, 27 December 2007

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." -- President George W. Bush, 18 June 2002

'WaterWired' Blog Makes Top 10 Water Blogs!

Hey - thanks to Jared Simpson, whose Waterblogged.info blog listed my companion water blog, WaterWired, among the top 10 water blogs.

"Better to light a candle than curse the darkness." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Romney, Religion, and Relevance

Interesting that I am blogging about religion and USA presidential politics on Christmas Eve, one of the great Christian holy days. Forgive me, Sister Theresa!

Mitt Romney's "Kennedy-esque" speech about his religion a few weeks was sad - I should say the fact that he had to do it was sad. The rise of Mike Huckabee, who wears his Christianity on his sleeve (and every other exposed surface), but whom I believe is sincere about it), prompted Mitt to attempt to assuage the fears of the Christian evangelicals in Iowa and elsewhere.

I don't care for Romney as President, but it's because of his politics, not his Mormonism.  I don't fear that if he were elected, ol' Mitt would decide he needed six more wives or install a hotline to the OWG (Old White Guy) in SLC who runs the LDS (I always want to write "LSD") Church.

I did find some interesting tidbits in his speech:

"Freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom. Freedom opens the windows of the soul so that man can discover his most profound beliefs and commune with God.  Freedom and religion endure together, or perish alone."

The first sentence I find especially baffling. So "religion requires freedom", eh? Let's look at places like Iran and Saudi Arabia, both of which "have religion", Islam to be specific. Are those places "free"? I think not. Yet they have religion.  And to be free, you have to have religion. Why? I don't think Mitt put a great deal of thought into this premise, but is merely telling the listeners what they want to hear. 

Huckabee is running ads in Iowa now that tout him as a "Christian leader". Romney is trying to convince us that Mormonism is not the first cousin of Scientology. Daniel Schorr of NPR said it correctly the other day: "It's as if they are running for church deacon."

On his show a few weeks ago Bill Moyers devoted time to a discussion of religion in presidential politics. His guests were Kathleen Hall Jamieson of the Annenberg School for Communication (ASC) at the University of Pennsylvania, arguably the most astute media observer around today, and Melissa Rogers of the Divinity School at Wake Forest University.

Moyers asked them, "What's missing from all this talk about religion and politics?"

Jamieson: "Relevance to government."

Rogers: "Robust defense of religious liberty."

To both, I say "Amen!"

"The five words Arkansas politicians fear most are 'Will the defendant please rise.' " -- Mike Huckabee

Aquablog's First Anniversary; Cell Phones For Soldiers

One year ago today I posted the first item on Aquablog. It's been a sweet ride, and it's just getting started.

Thanks for your support.

How many times have you wondered what to do with your old cell phone(s)? Now you can unload it and do something to benefit our troops as well.

I recently stumbled across an outfit called Cell Phones For Soldiers, which was started in April 2004 by siblings Brittany (then 13 years old) and Robbie (then 12) Bergquist of Norwell, Massachusetts. They collect old cell phones, sell them to a third party, and use the proceeds to buy prepaid phone cards for our overseas troops.  So far they have purchased 24 million minutes for our troops.

What inspired them? They read about a reservist who faced a $7,600 phone bill for calls from Iraq.

You don't even have to pay to send them your phone - you can download a postage-paid mailing label from the WWW site.

Kudos to Brittany and Robbie.

"Be not simply good; be good for something." -- Henry David Thoreau

Lynne Spears' Parenting Book, Pulitzer Prize on Hold

Lynne Spears, budding humorist and ersatz mother of Britney and 16-year-old "mother-to-be" Jamie Lynn, learned that her parenting book, Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, has been put on "indefinite hold" by her publisher, Thomas Nelson, of Tennessee. 

Actually, I think "infinite hold" is more appropriate.

Here is an article about the book's delay from Newsday. The picture is from the article.

Spears' book, which was to have "faith elements" (what kind of "faith"?) in it, was slated to be released on Mother's Day 2008. Thomas Nelson is a Christian publishing company based in Tennessee.

A company spokesman did not give a reason for the decision, but let me guess: her older daughter's a mess and her 16-year-old younger daughter just announced she is three months' pregnant.

Hmm....that might put the birth near Mother's Day. That would be a nice present for Grandma Lynne.

Spears' comments, upon learning of her younger daughter's pregnancy, were that Jamie Lynn had been "always conscientious" (about what?) and "never violated curfew".

My gosh - how did she get pregnant? Parthenogenesis, perhaps?

Lynne Spears' publicist, Ima Shill, noted that Spears was initially distraught because this meant "her book would miss the 2008 Pulitzer Prize nomination deadline" but that she is now okay with the decision because "she wants to spend more time with her family" and seek counsel from Dina Lohan, Lindsay's mother, who "has the wisdom and pharmaceuticals to deal with these things."

Shill noted that talks are underway to publish Spears' book in Russia and the former Soviet republics. Publishing magnate Y. Nott "Jack" Adogoff is personally negotiating the deal with Spears' legal representative, Dewey Screwum, who noted that Russian men are quite enamored of Spears, who finished third behind daughter Britney and comedienne-Botox spokeswoman Joan Rivers in this year's annual MILF awards.

Hugh G. Rection, a spokesman for Columbia University,which awards the Pulitzer Prizes, said that there was no problem with the delay and that they would gladly consider Spears' book in the fiction category whenever she decides to publish it.

"We know the Spears family, particularly the parents. An asset that Britney and Jamie Lynn both have is a great and dedicated mother." -- Dr. Phil McGraw to People.com, after learning of Jamie Lynn's pregnancy

"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard." -- Steven Wright

Al Gore's Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech

Here is a copy of Al Gore's Nobel Peace Price acceptance speech. Enjoy!

Download al_gore_nobel_acceptance_speech2007.doc

Here is a video of the speech - it's in two parts, each about 10 minutes long.

Part 1 and Part 2

"Some say the world will end in fire; some  say in ice. Either would suffice" -- Robert Frost

Three-For-One: 'Backwards Bush' Hits 399, Mike Huckabee, and Afghanistan's Wheels

My Backwards Bush timer is now down to 399 days! We've come a long way, but still have a long way to go.

Mike Huckabee, who now appears to be the frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination, was asked, if elected president, would he use President George W. Bush as a roving ambassador. Note that "ambassador to what" was not specified.

Huckabee deflected the question nicely by saying that he thought Bush "really wanted to go back to Texas." Good place for him, too.

Speaking of stupid things, our government has finally admitted that the wheels are falling off in Afghanistan (not that they were on all that well). The Taliban is ascendant, the country is reclaiming its mantle as the world's premier narco-state, and the Karzai government is as feckless and venal as ever. This year will be the most violent one since 2002. Of course, it's all the fault of those Euro-wusses.

Recall that Afghanistan was the locale of the real "War on Terror" (and rightfully so) until we decided that we had done our job and could move to Iraq, where we wanted to test the "flypaper hypothesis": to fight terrorism, start a war in Iraq so that all the terrorists will flock there, where we can easily kill them all.

Too bad we didn't check with the Russians and the British about Afghanistan.

"I think that's a good idea." -- Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach John McKay, in the throes of the 1976 winless season, when asked about his team's execution.

Airline Food Is Gone, But Not Forgotten: We're Still Complaining

Airline food. It's something all we flyers love to complain about.  Oh, it can be baaadddd.

I bring this up because there was an interesting letter from a long-time airline employee in today's New York Times (it was originally published on the paper's WWW site). He said that one constant he's noticed in all his years is that passengers complain most about the food. He didn't really argue with the premise that airline food is bad. How many times have you bitten into "mystery meat", or worse?

But something passengers now do has him completely baffled. Since many airlines have dispensed with free "meals", save for non-alcoholic drinks and snacks, passengers are complaining about the lack of meals and clamoring for them.

One respondent to that letter (originally submitted to the NYT's WWW site) said that he didn't expect the airline to serve good meals, just that they get him to his destination in a reasonable amount of time. As he succinctly stated, why should anyone expect American Airlines to produce a good omelet at 30,000 feet when many diners can't do it at sea level?

I agree. It's easy to find fault with airlines these days, but if I am flying coach class I don't expect them to feed me anything but a snack (peanuts, crackers) and a soft drink. That's it.

Keep the "hockey-puck" sandwiches.

"I love God; it's His fan club I can't stand." -- bumper sticker seen in Corvallis, OR

Baseball and Steroids: We Share Some Blame

I have not yet waded through the Mitchell Report on steroid and related performance-enhancing drug abuse in major league baseball (MLB). I've just seen and heard Sen. Mitchell himself and the usual pundits summarizing the report's findings.

Here are the summary and recommendations:

Download summary.pdf

Here is a video of the Senator's press conference.

At his press conference, in assigning blame, Sen. Mitchell omitted one big group, the largest of all: we, the baseball fans. Here is what he said:

"Everyone involved in baseball over the past two decades — commissioners, club officials, the players' association and players — shares to some extent the responsibility for the Steroids Era. There was a collective failure to recognize the problem as it emerged and to deal with it early on."

No mention of the fans.

The main reason rampant steroid and HGH (human growth hormone) use was tolerated by the baseball moguls was economics, pure and simple. As the home runs were flying out of the ballpark and 40-something pitchers were whiffing 20-something sluggers, the fans were returning to the ballparks in droves and spending money.

Remember the 1998 summer? Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were engaged in a titanic assault on Roger Maris' single-season home run record. Fans were flocking to watch them, and other sluggers, duel. It was a season that would not soon be forgotten, but not for the reason we imagined.

I remember going to Houston on business that summer. I learned that the St. Louis Cardinals, McGwire's team, would be playing the Houston Astros during my visit. I bought a ticket and made arrangements to stay an extra day. Why? Yes, I'm a lifelong baseball fan and might have gone to any Astros' game, but the prospect of seeing McGwire hit a couple of dingers over then-Enron Field's short left-field porch was too much to resist. As it turned out, I went to the game, but McGwire did not play because of an injury.

We fans knew by then or soon afterwards that there were rumors of performance-enhancing drug use.  Did that bother most of us? Yes, I suspect it did. Did it prevent us from indulging our love for the national pastime? Apparently not - the proof's in the pudding, or more correctly, profits.

Just like MLB, the owners, and players, we bought into all this. And so did most members of the media.

So who helped enable this mess? Look in the mirror.

"Sports do not teach character, they reveal it." -- Heywood Hale Broun

'Iron Mike' Ditka Punts

USA Today reports that Mike Ditka, suffering from criticism that his foundation to benefit retired NFL players spent just $57,000 out of the total proceeds of $1,300,000 on the players, announced that he was dissolving his foundation. The story is by Richard Willing, who wrote the original piece. I also posted on this a few days ago.

Ditka also announced that he will split the fund's remaining $600,000 between two charities: Misericordia, a Catholic home for people with developmental disbilities; and 2) Gridiron Greats Assistance Fund (GGAF), a Green Bay, WI, charity founded by former Green Bay Packer star Jerry Kramer that also helps ex-players.

One immediate question was posed by David Borochoff, president of the American Institute of Philanthropy (AIP), a charity watchdog group: Why isn't Ditka giving all the proceeds to the Gridiron Greats fund, since it has the same aims as his fund? People who financially supported Ditka's fund presumably were doing so to help retired NFL players, not a charity like Misericordia. As Borochoff suggested, this split of the proceeds would seem to imply that the needs of retired players were not as great as Ditka has claimed.

Nice punt, Mike.

"You're never a loser until you quit trying." -- Mike Ditka

Civility Engineer

"She flipped me off, so I cut her off."

"He dissed me, so I blew the motherf***er away."

How many times have you read about an act of violence initiated by rude or uncivil behavior that escalates into mayhem? Probably too many, I'll wager. We all know what "road rage" is, and we can now add "air rage". 

Enter Pier Massimo Forni, an Italian native and recent U.S. citizen. Dr. Forni is a professor of Romance Languages and Literatures at Johns Hopkins University (JHU) in Baltimore.

The accompanying picture is by Andy Nelson of the Christian Science Monitor(CSM). I used Richard O'Mara's 11 December 2007  CSM article as the basis for this post.

Forni noted some time ago the decline in civility, or growth in incivility, in the USA.

He also wanted to do something more relevant to the modern world than 14th-centuryItalian literature.

As a result, in 1997 he co-founded the Johns Hopkins Civility Project, which seeks to assess the significance of manner, civility, and politeness in contemporary society. It also seeks to fathom the effects of politesse in more limited social conglomerations, such as the military and prisons. It has now become The Civility Initiative at JHU.

In 2002 he wrote a book, Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct, that has been published in English, German, and Italian. You can read the foreword here, and one of the 25 rules here.

Two Maryland counties have started "Choose Civility" programs, and the Howard County, MD, library ordered 2000 copies of his book. Similar programs have started in Ohio, Florida, and Minnesota.

Maybe Rudy Giuliani will become the national spokesman. Fageddaboutit!

So what does all this have to do with the "real world"? Forni states:

"Acts of violence are often the result of an exchange of acts of rudeness that spiral out of control. Disrespect can lead to bloodshed. By keeping the levels of incivility down we keep the levels of violence down.... If we teach youngsters in all walks of life how to manage conflict with civility-based relational skills, we will have a less uncivil society, a less violent one."

Forni also noted the connection between health and a person's level of stress. Increased stress, such as that caused by confrontation, acromony, etc., can lead to higher blood pressure.

Dr. Forni also has developed a broader view of civility. Instead of a person-to-person interaction, it is a growing respect for the environment and the acceptance by men of women as equals.  I'd expand the latter to include the acceptance of others as equals, without regard to gender, race, ethnicity, religion, national origin, or beliefs.

Forni also said something that really struck home for me:

"I think that the first part of our lives we spend searching for beauty. In the second part we seek to be useful. We tend to think of the ethical values of life. We seek goodness."

I don't claim to have spent the first part of my life seeking beauty (in the eye of the beholder, to be sure) but as for the second part of my life, Forni's assessment is spot-on.

"Never underestimate how poorly people can treat one another." -- Anonymous

The New 'Great Game': OSCE Gives Kazakhstan a Pass

Seven years ago I didn't know OSCE (Organization for Security and Co-Operation in Europe) from my left foot. After I started working in the South Caucasus and did a sabbatical with IAEA in Vienna (where OSCE is headquartered) I learned of OSCE's amazing and courageous work in Eastern Europe and the former Soviet republics in the South Caucasus and Central Asia. It's an organization of 56 member states (including the USA) dedicated to security and nation-building.

I had the pleasure and honor of attending an OSCE field workers' retreat in Austria. It was a revelation. The work done by the (mostly young) field personnel involved nation-building, civil society development, elections and human rights monitoring, protection of vulnerable people, economic and environmental reconstruction, etc. At the time of the retreat (fall 2002) the former Yugoslavia was on the radar screen and a roiling cauldron of hatred. One of the field people told me that the local disgruntled Serbs said that "OSCE" stood for "Oh Shit, Controlling our Elections." One young woman told of her efforts to protect 1,000 young Albanians from being victimized by the ubiquitous "blood feuds".  One worker related how the acronym of the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia - "FRY" - was an apt description of how your nerves were after serving there for a year.

The retreat leader told me that OSCE is in a true dilemma: if it's doing its job, you don't hear about it, so it's hard to garner support. If you hear about OSCE a lot, then it is probably not doing its job very well.

So why this post? Well, I was dismayed to read a story in the 8 December 2007 issue of The Economist that said OSCE had awarded its rotating chairmanship position in 2010 to Kazakhstan. Given Kazakhstan's autocratic leader Nursultan Nazarbayev's penchant for muzzling (or worse) his opposition this indeed seems like an odd move.

But OSCE is no doubt according this honor to Kazakhstan to keep Nazarbayev (and  all his oil, gas, coal, uranium, etc.) from closer ties to Russia and China. It's the 21st century version of 'The Great Game' but this time the stakes are much higher.

I understand that idealism must often defer to reality, but it's sad to see a noble group like OSCE compromise to this degree. Nazarbayev is one of those old-line Communist leaders who "found democracy" when the Soviet Union collapsed.

Could this honor effect some human-rights improvements in Kazakhstan by 2010? Maybe Nazarbayev will rise to the occasion, call for totally free elections with OSCE monitors, release his opponents from prison, and decree that a free press is sacrosanct.

Naahhhh......

"When the fox preaches, turn to the geese." -- old German proverb

'Iron Mike' Ditka: Penalized for Holding

'Iron Mike' Ditka, NFL Hall of Fame tight end, shown here with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell (photo by Win McNamee, courtesy USA Today) has recently crusaded for better treatment for retired NFL players, some of whom are injured or live on next to nothing. He excoriated the NFL Players' Union for treating injured and needy ex-players "like dogs" and even testified before Congress.

And like the 'man of action' he appears to be, Ditka even went so far as to found a charity, the Mike Ditka Hall of Fame Assistance Trust Fund, to aid needy players. Great, Mike - putting your money where your mouth is. The fund has since raised $1.3 million. Not bad, eh? Well, not really.

It turns out that Mike's charity has netted only $315,000 after  expenses, or about 24%. That's pathetic, and what's worse, it has given only $57,000 to needy ex-players, or less than 5% than the total amount realized. In fact, the fund has awarded more in honoraria - $65,000 - to ex-stars to play in Mike's celebrity golf tournament, which the fund used as a money-raiser. The Chicago firm that organized the tournaments was paid $280,000.

Mike claims that it's hard finding needy players and getting them to fill out forms. Pretty lame excuse!

Ditka says he's been working to set things right, and will pledge to give away 50% of the tournament's proceeds. Let's hope so. Till he comes through, he might want to refrain from criticizing the NFL and the Players' Union, whose charities have awarded about $1.1 milion between 2000 and 2005.  Until that time, 'Iron Mike' is in my Hall of Shame.

You can read more in USA Today, where the story appeared on 6 December 2007.

Here is another take on the USA Today story.

"There are two kinds of people: those who make commitments and those who keep them." -- John Adams

Happy Birthday to the King (and Queen) of Rock 'n Roll

Good golly, Miss Molly! Rip it up, Lucille! Richard Wayne Penniman, aka Little Richard, the pride of Macon, GA, turns 75 today.

An incredible talent. Inductee to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

He still bounces between the "Pure" (Christian evangelism) and the "Prurient" (gritty, get-down rock 'n roll).

Here he is with President Bush.

For Tutti Frutti and Long Tall Sally - click here.

Want to hear something obscene? Pat Boone's cover of Tutti Frutti.

Rock on, Richard!

"I am the architect of rock 'n roll "- Little Richard

'Store Wars' Starring Cuke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Canoli

Whether or not you are an organic food person, you'll love this send-up of Star Wars entitled Store Wars. It's from the folks at the Organic Trade Association.

May the farce be with you!

"Bottled water is a triumph of  perceived need over reason - the greatest marketing coup in history." -- Garry Trudeau, "Doonesbury", 2 December 2007.

Tommy Toma's Timeless Tunes and More!

Tommy Toma performed a tremendous service for all us music lovers. Go to YouTube, punch in the title of your favorite pop-rock tune, and the odds are good that one of "Toma's Timeless Tunes" will surface. Or, if you want to browse, just key in "Toma's Timeless Tunes" and his entire catalog will come up. He even ranks his tunes. Some of the accompanying music videos are of the artists themselves; others are not.

Aside from Tommy's collections, I've been amazed at the number of songs/music videos available on YouTube. Here are some of my favorites.

The Snake by Al Wilson. A hit for Al in 1968. On the surface, this song is about a woman who rescues a poisonous snake from the cold and certain death. Aside from heavy sexual overtones, there's a powerful message embedded within the song:

Now she clutched him to her bosom, "You're so beautiful," she cried
"But if I hadn't brought you in by now you might have died"
Now she stroked his pretty skin and then she kissed and held him tight
But instead of saying thanks, that snake gave her a vicious bite

"Take me in, oh tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in oh tender woman," sighed the snake

"I saved you," cried that woman
"And you've bit me even, why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I'm going to die"
"Oh shut up, silly woman," said the reptile with a grin
"You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in."

Moral:  You can't change some person's or thing's basic nature; they are what they are and they will behave accordingly. If you assume otherwise, don't be surprised if you must pay the price.

All She Wants To Do Is Dance by Don Henley. A fabulous song about someone who wants to have fun and enjoy herself, oblivious to the fact that the world around her is crumbling, or more appropriately, exploding. The video is great. Mary Frances and I have a particular fondness for this song. In 1996, we flew into Flores, Guatemala, from Belize City. As we touched down, we turned to each other, nodded our heads, and simultaneously said, "Uh-huh. All She Wants To Do Is Dance!"

 by Dexys Midnight Runners, featuring the tempermental Kevin Rowland. This was a monster #1 hit in 1982, undoubtedly helped by this "street urchin" video.  Note that drummer Seb Shelton is not in the final scene. Urban legend has it that Rowland fired him before the video was finished because he did not adhere to Rowland's orders that the band members were not to bathe or shave during the filming. [Note added on 11 April 2008: Seb says that this really is "urban legend". He's not in the final scene because he and Rowland argued about the latter's directing, and Shelton decided to go home for the day. He did not leave the band until a year later.] The cover version by Save Ferris is also great, with a Rowland look-alike playing the tow-truck driver. The lead singer, Monique Powell, is quite a bit better-looking than Rowland. Come On Eileen

Here Comes My Baby, by the Tremeloes, is an amazing tune written by Cat Stevens (his best ever). I love this version; it was a pick hit by 'Mountain Man' Charlie Dent in 1967 on WCWM-FM. Interesting item about the Tremeloes: they and the Beatles were auditioned by Decca Records on the same day in 1962. Decca signed them and let the Beatles go (see quote at the bottom). The cover by The Mavericks (you have to view an ad), almost 30 years after the original, is also noteworthy, mainly for the video. Great go-go dancers. What's interesting about each of these versions, especially the one by the Tremeloes, is that despite the sad subject, the music is upbeat and it sounds as though people are having a party. Here's Cat singing his own composition. Quite different from the two covers.

Jive Talkin' (here is the original) by the Bee Gees. I've always liked the Bee Gees, harking back to the days when they crooned ballads (New York Mining Disaster 1941; Massachusetts, etc.). This song is significant because it's their comeback tune, a musical transition from lugubrious ballads to a "hipper", more rhythmic sound (they had moved to Miami by then). It was originally called Drive Talkin', and the "sound" represented the sounds of a car's tires crossing the Biscayne Bridge. Great bass licks from Maurice on the original. On the video Robin doesn't seem to be doing much of anything. Then came disco - but we won't talk about that.

Eres Tu ("You Are") by the Spanish (Basque, actually - better believe there's a difference!) group Mocedades. It was released in 1973 after winning second prize in the Eurovision Song Contest. It's one of the most beautiful pop songs I've ever heard. Amaya Uranga's singing defines the word "haunting". I missed this song when it first came out. When I heard the song on the radio in a taxi in Panama City, Panama, I made the driver stop and tell me what it was. Some claim that this was plagiarized from a 1966 song, Brez Besed ("Without Words") by Slovenian singer Berta Ambroz. You be the judge.

Black is Black,  by another Spanish group, Los Bravos, though with a German lead singer, Mike Kogel. The tune was written by two Brits, Tony Hayes and Steve Wadey. Great beat and fabulous intro, though the 1960s Top 40 jocks drove me nuts by  talking over it, as was the custom then.

Beach Baby by First Class. This is one of those songs that will lodge in your head for a few weeks (or years) - my wife Mary Frances loathes it (and she's from SoCal). If the lead singer sounds familiar, that's because he is Tony Burrows, who has been the lead vocalist for several British studio groups - White Plains (My Baby Loves Lovin'); Edison Lighthouse (Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes, or as we'd say on the air, Love Grows When My Rosemary Blows); The Pipkins (Gimme Dat Ding); Brotherhood of Man (United We Stand). When Brian Wilson heard Beach Baby he supposedly thought it was a SoCal group. When he discovered it was a bunch of Brits, he returned to therapy, where he remained for 20 more years.

And who could forget Cyndi Lauper's wonderful feminist anthem (or tribute to frivolity?) and video, Girls Just Want To Have Fun. Written from a male point of view by Robert Hazard, Lauper changed the lyrics slightly and the rest is music history. Lauper, a big wrestling fan, had wrestling star Captain Lou Albano play her father in the video.

If you sit still whenever the Gibson Brothers' Cuba is playing, you're comatose or worse. This one really moves; it's salsa meets disco. I love to play it while in the MR2 with the top down. One of my all-time favorites. By the way, the brothers are natives of Martinique and are currently based in France. I love Cuba almost as much as....

Feelin' Alright by Joe Cocker. My all-time best record. If I could have just one song while marooned in space, it would be this one. The only version worth listening to. Cocker's band really cooks on this one. Love the piano.

Remember the great Yellow River by Christie? Here is the version by the Tremeloes. Jeff Christie originally wrote it for the Tremeloes, but they decided not to release it. The version by Christie is actually the Tremeloes on the instruments and doing the backing vocals with Jeff singing lead. This song was released in 1970 during the height of the Vietnam War and became a big favorite with the troops.

Something a little darker - Barry McGuire's Eve of Destruction. The video has been updated with more current events.When I hear this song, I think: Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Here are The Byrds with their cover of Bob Dylan's My Back Pages. Yeah, we spent hours ruminating on the song's meaning - a fruitless exercise for a Dylan song, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.

This next song shows how far we've come (or how low we've sunk, depending upon your viewpoint) since 1965. Manfred Mann did this version of Dylan's If You Gotta Go, Go Now that was banned on many USA radio stations because of the "suggestive" lyrics. I was a young jock on WCWM-FM and we risked the wrath of the Program Director (or worse) if we played it (but we did anyway). Just catch these lyrics:

Now I don't want to make you give
Anything you never gave before
It's just that I'll be sleeping soon
It'll be too dark for you to find the door

Pretty hot, right?

Now listen to Fairport Convention's French version Si Tu Dois Partir.

I once did a "Dirty Dozen" show. Maybe I should post those.
 
Wipe Out by the Fat Boys and the Beach Boyz. Now the Surfaris' original. Ron Wilson's drum solo set the standard for garage bands all over the world. What can I say?

Since I am a graduate of the College of William and Mary, the list would be incomplete without Steely Dan's fabulous My Old School and its "Oh, no! William and Mary won't do!" But there is speculation that they are not referring to W&M but to Bard College in Annandale, NY, Donald Fagen's alma mater. Bard is supposedly called "The William and Mary of the North."

And yes, I do like ABBA. Here's a "political" video of their blockbuster,Waterloo.

Here is some more great music.

All for now.

"We don't like their sound; groups with guitars are on the way out." -- A Decca Records executive, referring to The Beatles (1962)