Okay, so I'm a little late with this one, but I thought I would pay tribute to the late Dr. Jerry Falwell, the Lion of Lynchburg, who died on 15 May 2007.
You can go to the Thomas Road Baptist Church WWW site to see the tribute his own church has arranged.
As for my own tribute, I decided that my meager words cannot honor the man - no, icon - that was Jerry Falwell. I will simply supplant my words with his sagacious quotes that will do him justice unlike anything I can say. What better way to honor someone of his stature?
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
"He is purple - the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle - the gay-pride symbol." [Warning that Tinky Winky, one of the 'Teletubbies', may be gay.]
"Facilities [for blacks and whites] should be separate. When God has drawn a line of distinction, we should not attempt to cross that line." (1958)
"AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals...AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals." (2001)
"[LBJ's Civil Rights Act] should be considered civil wrongs rather than civil rights." (1964)
"Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America."
"I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I'm going to buy a Suburban next time."
"The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country." (1976)
"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."
"The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi Party is to Jews."
"I hope to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we don't have public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them." (1979)
"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions."
"I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would vote yes on first blush."
And speaking of President Bush: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Thanks to the July 2007 issue of the Funny Times for the quotes.
I'll close with my favorite Jerry Falwell quote:
"I really believe that the pagans, and abortionists, and the feminists...all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say 'You helped this [9/11] happen'." -- Rev. Jerry Falwell (2001)
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